By Jim Freeman
September 23, 2020
"That things have no hold on the soul. They stand there unmoving, outside it. Disturbance comes only from within - from our own perceptions." - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Marcus Aurelius was the Emperor of Rome from 161 to 180 and is considered by historians as the last of their "Five Good Emperors". He penned his Meditations during the final ten years of his reign and it is still thought to be one of the greatest and most influential philosophical works ever written. The book was written as a collection of notes to himself and most likely was never intended for publication. The Modern Library translation by Gregory Hayes is considered the best version available and I enthusiastically recommend it. Meditations is representative of the teachings of the Stoic philosophy founded by Zeno of Citium in Athens in the third century BC. Stoicism is a philosophy meant to be applied to our everyday lives and its chief concerns are ethics, metaphysics and logic. The four virtues of Stoicism are courage, temperance, justice and wisdom. At this point some readers may be asking themselves "Why in the world are we talking about Marcus Aurelius?...or wasn't he the old guy in the movie Gladiator?" Part of the point is to establish the fact that we have been wrestling with the power that our thoughts and emotions have over our actions for quite some time...we've literally been writing about and discussing the subject for centuries. The other part of the point is to suggest that it's not a bad idea to glean all the wisdom and knowledge we can from the great minds that came before us.
I approach this topic from a coaching perspective...I've been a coach of one sport or another for over 30 years. At the beginning I didn't have much of an idea of how to go about any of it so I studied successful leaders and coaches across a variety of disciplines. One thing they all had in common was that they never stopped trying to learn and improve. I've attended numerous coaching clinics and I would routinely see many of the best coaches in the room listening intently, asking questions and taking notes. It was at one such clinic that I heard Anson Dorrance (UNC Women's Soccer Coach) say that success isn't just a result of learning new drills or even new tactics, it's also about learning how to improve culture and how to consistently compete at a high level. I have found that what bounces around inside the heads of athletes often makes such things much more difficult. The first athlete I noticed that about was me.
When I was quite young I started playing baseball and football and did so during a time when the kids in the neighborhood would organize the games themselves...no grown-ups required. I also played both sports in a more official capacity usually in the evenings with uniforms, lights, spectators and coaches. My performances in baseball couldn't have been more different in the two environments. During the day with no one watching, no lights and no coaches everything was fine. I had fun and played fairly well. However, at night I was so paralyzed by a fear of failure that I literally could not swing the bat. I became the kid who was put in right field (where fewer balls were hit) in the last inning. I would get one turn at bat and I would either walk or strike out. I was beyond embarrassed and had no answers for my friends who sometimes asked "What's wrong with you?" They were the same friends who would see me play during the day and they couldn't figure out why I was such a different player at night. Neither could I. I didn't have access to truckloads of sport psychology books...there weren't any. Unwittingly I sort of became my own psychologist and wrestled successfully with my thoughts enough to at least become a functional player in the high stress conditions of Pony League Baseball.
There is a lot of time to think during a baseball game and that really worked against me as a young athlete. My mind would race to worse-case scenarios and before long I had rendered myself helpless on the diamond. If my parents didn't make it to the game I would rub dirt on my uniform and lie about how well I had done in that night's contest. I had perfect sports parents....they watched, clapped and never put any pressure on me about my performance. How I played didn't matter to them. They knew I loved baseball and that was enough. They also never called me on my obvious embellishments about my play when they couldn't attend a game. Over time I became angrier and angrier with myself. I remained embarrassed and frustrated. Somehow I figured out a way to calm my mind enough to be able to play under those bright lights. I had quite a few conversations with myself and stumbled upon the tool of "self-talk" without realizing it at the time. I tried to stop thinking so negatively and instead tried to be more positive...or at least not so negative. Years later I had similarly anxious feelings as an adult while I walked up to the park prior to a church league softball game. I had to stand in the parking lot and give myself a little "pep-talk" before continuing to the field. By then I had some tools...I had a decent idea how to do it. During the years between Little League and church league I read a number of books on the subject of sport psychology primarily because I was coaching high school athletics and trying to learn how to be an effective coach.
I remember reading about very successful professional athletes seeking help with the mental approach to their craft years ago. There was a bit of a stigma attached to it at the time and many players were uncomfortable revealing that they needed that sort of help. They thought it would make them appear weak. John Smoltz (Hall of Fame pitcher) was one of the first I recall being willing to publicly discuss his struggles and solutions. I thought that if athletes of that caliber needed assistance in that regard then surely the players that I coach could use it. My experience as a young baseball player still allows me to relate to the athletes that I coach...particularly concerning the head games we often play with ourselves and how that affects performance. Players routinely work hard on their sport skills and their physical conditioning but struggle with finding ways to improve their mental conditioning. As a result I try to locate methods and resources to help my teams address the mental aspect of their sporting lives while knowing that information can help them outside of sports as well.
Over time I came to discover that mental training was something that was required and addressed in a variety of fields from sports to business to the military and first responders. My dad spent 30 years in the Army Reserves and would routinely tell me when I was a young man that I needed "six months of basic training" to snap me out of it. I wasn't the most disciplined or achievement-oriented teenager in town and he was absolutely correct. However I had no interest in doing anything like that especially considering that my short temper would likely see me land in the brig had I enlisted. As an adult I got around to reading books about something other than weightlifting and developed a keen appreciation for the mental training that occurs in our Armed Forces particularly the Special Operators. Marcus Luttrell's book Lone Survivor is a heart-wrenching and inspiring story and a perfect illustration of the impact that kind of mental training can have. Luttrell was one of four members of SEAL Team Ten deployed to Afghanistan in 2005. Due to their rules of engagement they allowed unarmed local herdsmen who had happened upon them to leave the area knowing their location would be revealed to the Taliban as a result. The Taliban later attacked the SEALs with RPGs and mortars and ultimately three of the four team members were killed. Luttrell suffered multiple fractures including a broken back but was nonetheless able to crawl seven miles to a village for aid and shelter. That does not happen without the mindset that is developed in his training and preparation. One of my favorite quotes from Mr. Luttrell states: "I will never quit. My nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies. If knocked down I will get back up every time. I will draw on every remaining ounce of strength to protect my teammates and accomplish our mission. I am never out of the fight." If Luttrell had spent his time thinking about all the reasons he would not succeed in getting to that village he would have surely not made it. Instead he thought about what he needed to do to get help and that's what he concentrated on. His trained mind stayed on task, didn't dwell on the negative and he was able to crawl his way to safety.
Ryan Holiday's book The Obstacle is the Way is based on the philosophical principles espoused in the writings of Marcus Aurelius and he states in the chapter titled The Discipline of Perception "You will come across obstacles in life - fair and unfair. And you will discover, time and time again, that what matters most is not what these obstacles are but how we see them, how we react to them, and whether we keep our composure. You will learn that this reaction determines how successful we will be in overcoming - or possibly thriving because of - them." Controlling our minds so that we are able to weed out distracting and unhelpful thoughts and emotions allows us to make room for those ideas that have a more accurate or truthful perspective regarding our circumstances and how to overcome them. This approach provides a path toward effectively dealing with those obstacles and struggles...and the more we apply such thinking the better we get at doing it.
Creating a mindset that will foster success regardless of our pursuits requires diligence and belief...and it involves limiting the negative thoughts that are so powerful and defeating. Controlling our own perceptions of ourselves and our circumstances is a must if we want to maximize our opportunities and potential. We will continue to explore this topic in subsequent articles.
